As far as milestones go, moving in together is a huge one for couples. You’re taking your relationship to the next level and will be merging all of your items. You’ll have to take stock of what you have, toss some things, keep the rest and maybe even purchase a few new pieces. It’s altogether a stressful experience, but we’re here to help. These tips will help you combine all your items and make the entire process a little easier.
De-clutter
The first thing you should do? Pool all your items and divide them into four piles: keep, toss, donate or sell. Keep everything you think you’ll use. Toss items in disrepair. Donate gently used items. Sell anything in good shape.
“Don’t make the mistake to bring all your items and then decide what to keep,” says Kate Windleton, a marketing specialist at the U.K.-based moving company Strong Move Removals. “It’s better to bring only the things you will actually use.”
Start From Scratch
“If possible, it’s a great idea to move into a new place together with a clean slate. You don’t need any lingering ex memories hanging around,” says Jodi Holzband, an organization expert for SpareFoot, an online marketplace for storage.
It’s probably best for both if you take down any photos you have lying around of you with your ex. You don’t necessarily have to throw everything away; just keep it out of sight.
Plan Ahead
“Sketch out a floor plan on paper to decide where things will go and what makes sense for both the space and your lifestyle. Discuss ahead of time which things each of you will bring into the space to avoid any unpleasant surprises on moving day,” says Holzband. This is especially important if you’ll be moving into a smaller space, because you’ll probably have to get rid of a few things. You might not need two couches or dining room tables, for instance. Work together to decide what will go in your new place.
Figure Out Finances
Because money is one of the hardest subjects for couples to discuss, you’ll want to figure this one out early on. Be open about what you can afford and how you spend money. Holzband suggests asking the following questions:
1. What can you really afford?
2. Are you going to split everything?
3. Are you going to have a shared account?
4. Do you pay bills right when you get them or let them sit around?
5. Are you going to put money in savings, and if so, how much?
6. Do you want to save for a house or a big trip?
7. What happens if one of you loses a job?
Establish House Rules
“A successful partnership should begin with laying down some ground rules. It’s better to establish these first than to work backwards when you find out the things that are bugging you,” says Holzband. “Things like keeping the toilet seat down, not putting shoes on the couch, dirty clothes going in the hamper, washing your dishes, how will the groceries and dinner be taken care of, etc. can get really frustrating and make your lives a little less romantic if you have to keep bringing them up.”
Share the Housework
Another sore spot for many couples? Housework. To avoid this, you can try dividing up the tasks in a way that makes sense. Maybe you take on the tasks that you like or hate the least and your partner takes on the ones that he or she likes best or doesn’t mind doing.
[tweetthis]Moving in together? Housework is a sore spot. Divide it up and compromise! #relationshipgoals[/tweetthis]
Communication and Compromise
“I think that this may be the most important tip,” says Snyder. “Not everyone does things the way you do, so you need to compromise, communicate and work as a team.”
Work Together on Packing and Unpacking
Because packing and unpacking can be one of the most stressful tasks, try tackling it together.
“This is a great opportunity to bond and to discuss what fun activities you will do together at your new place,” says Windleton. “In addition, while you pack, you can tell each other interesting stories about how you bought or received the items that you are packing. Just make sure to do more packing than telling stories.”
Express Appreciation
“’Please’ and ‘thank you’ go a long way to make someone feel appreciated and not taken for granted,” says Snyder. “Don’t forget to use them.”
Not sure if you and your significant other are ready to share a place? Answering these questions can help you decide if you’re ready to take the plunge.