Fall is here, which means our nationwide seasonal obsession with “pumpkin spice” is in full swing. It seems like everything is pumpkin-spiced these days, from beverages to pastries to potato chips. But is that really enough to satiate our need for all things pumpkin-spiced? Really, why stop at food and beverages? Why not keep going? Why not pumpkin-spice your living space? Insane idea? Or the best idea ever in the history of the world.
Read on for fun, seasonal tips on how to pumpkin-spice every inch of your apartment (because you know you want to).
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Kitchen
Have no less than two pumpkin pies baking in the oven at all times.
Purge your refrigerator and cupboards of every food item that does not emit a cozy, pumpkin-spiced scent.
Replace discarded food and sustenance with pumpkin spice-flavored everything (potato chips, cereal, cheese, etc.).
Throw all bottled water in the garbage and replace with pumpkin spice frappuccinos (no whip).
Lather up with pumpkin-spiced dish soap.
Keep a few pumpkin spice milkshakes on hand for when the craving strikes.
Bathroom
Replace soap and body wash with a pumpkin (great exfoliant).
Use pumpkin-scented shampoo, conditioner, face wash and deodorant. If, for some inexplicable reason, these products do not exist, write an indignant letter to your congressman.
Call your property manager and request he or she bring in a plumber to replace the water in your pipes with pumpkin spice lattes. If he questions your sanity, calmly remind him that it’s fall and “water showers” are not in season.
Living Room
Decorate your living room with pumpkins. A lot of pumpkins. Too many pumpkins? Ha ha, trick question; there’s no such thing.
Stock your fireplace with pumpkin-spiced firewood (or as an alternative: pumpkins).
Replace all the photos of loved ones on your mantel with expensively-framed photos of pumpkin-spiced beverages, pastries and your favorite barista, Jeff.
Replace couch pillows with pumpkins (see above; no such thing as too many pumpkins).
Roll out a trendy orange rug and matching front-door wreath, both sufficiently steeped in the scent of pumpkin spice, to create a pleasing aroma inside and out.
Have a Norah Jones CD playing in the background at all times. This will make you think of Starbucks®, which will make you think of pumpkin spice lattes.
Bedroom
Replace your bed with a water bed.
(Somehow) replace the water in the water bed with 10 gallons of pumpkin spice lattes. Now you can live out your seasonal dream of floating in a glorious sea of pumpkin spice deliciousness.
Replace pillows with pumpkins. This will be wildly uncomfortable but totally worth it.
Download an MP3 of the soothing sound of a barista making a pumpkin spice latte, and listen to it as you drift off to sleep.
Pumpkin-Spiced Pets
Your pets can partake in the joys of the singular season as well, with pumpkin-spiced dog treats and (oh, yes!) pumpkin-spiced cat litter.
Are you in the market for a new apartment you’d like to pumpkin-spice? Check out ForRent.com for local listings.